


Pressure Points

by DarlingRed



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Cas, Awkward Dean, Back rubs, M/M, Or sans wings, Wings, is that a tag, now it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8531515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingRed/pseuds/DarlingRed
Summary: Castiel arrives at Bunker, newly human and desperate to prove himself to the two hunters. But Dean notices something off about Cas as soon as he arrives. As he tries to ease his friend's discomfort he finds himself in a situation that changes their relationship forever. Destiel, wings, fluffy. Rated Mature but not super mature.





	

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money.

It started happening a few days after Cas came to them, found him outside in the freezing night air, curled into a thin hoodie. Dean remembered standing there for far too long, looking at the thin, fallen man curled at their door. Nothing like the angel they knew. He remembered snapping out of his stupor fast, shaking the poor guy a little too hard, thinking he was dead for sure. Cas just looked up, bags under his eyes and his skin far too pale for Dean's liking.

"Hello Dean," he had managed, his skin shaking under Dean's touch.  
Sam followed the sound and helped the fallen angel into the safety of the bunker, his shoes wrecked and the soles gone from them however long ago.

Dean was in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee and Cas was at the fridge getting some milk. He had bent over a bit and Dean caught him hitched, a wince on his face as he straightened, gallon of milk in hand. Dean didn't say anything, the guy did just become human, the creaks and cracks were part of it. Something he had never had to deal with before. He had shrugged it off and went back to stirring his coffee.

But then it happened again, this time it was after dinner and they where clearing the table; something Cas seemed to enjoy doing was cleaning up after people. Dean didn't know if it was somehow connected, almost on a cellular level of the angel, that he continually needed to clean up other people's messes. But for whatever reason, he let him do it. On his way around the table he saw him roll his shoulders, wince and grab a dish before retreating to the sink. But it was when they where in the library, Sam hunched over an old Greek text for some reason or another, while Cas read quietly in the corner. It was quiet and still, it had been awhile since Dean had had any semblance of peace in his life and he welcomed it.  
Cas had sat up stretched, then stopped, actually gasping and folding his arms around him as if he where in pain.  
"Ok what is it, Cas?" Dean snapped, closing the book loudly and breaking the silence that had been so comforting just moments before.  
Cas looked up, startled-his eyes darting back and forth between the brothers.  
"Just an ache in my back, I'm fine," He reassured, but Dean saw the panic in his eyes when he mentioned it and the way his Adam's apple dipped almost convulsively as he swallowed hard.  
He narrowed his eyes, but shook his head and delved back into the book before him.

Cas didn't know he was being watched that was for sure. But Dean started watching every move the man made, from bending over to stretching and constantly rolling his shoulder blade. It unnerved him, knowing that Cas was once again keeping something from them.  
From him.  
Dean's resolve finally broke one morning during breakfast, when Cas had finally decided to join them. He walked down the hall, his hair pointing in every which direction and his eyes tired. He grunted his good morning like he did every morning and immediately went to start coffee. Dean watched him reach for the mug on the top shelf, but was not fast enough when Cas seized and the mug shattered on the vintage tile. Everyone froze, Sam turned.  
"You ok Cas?"  
Dean was already up, stepping over the huge chunks of glass to get to the stricken fallen angel who looked like he just murdered Dean's puppy.  
"I apologize, I did not mean to break the mug," he stammered, immediately crouching to grab the larger pieces that lay at his feet.  
Dean crouched next to him, and grabbed his hand that currently held a piece of the broken ceramic.  
"Cas,' he tried not speak softly, as it seemed Cas was nervous about something. "Talk to me man."  
Cas ducked his head and pulled his hand away from Dean and picked up the mug's parts and put them gingerly in the trash can.  
Sam watched the whole exchange wordlessly before going back to his cereal.  
Then, Cas grabbed the broom.  
Setting his jaw, Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the dust pan and broom out of Cas's hand and shoved them towards Sam, "Sam, pick this up, Cas and I are going to have a talk."

And with that, he grabbed Cas's arm and pulled him down the hall towards his room. Cas followed, not fighting in the slightest.  
They arrived at Dean's room who promptly shut the door behind them, turning to Cas, "Ok now whats going on? And I don't want any bullshit I want the truth. Something is up with you and I wanna know what it is!"

Cas still looked at the ground, but nodded.  
"I am sorry to be such a burden-"  
"Cut the melodramatics Cas and spit it out!" Dean interrupted.  
Cas nodded,looked away for a second and then began unbuttoning his shirt slowly.  
Staring, and scrunching his brow Dean felt his mouth go dry almost instantaneously. "Um, Cas..."

Cas shot him a look, "You wanted me to tell you," He snapped.  
Shrugging his shirt off, he closed his eyes. "I cannot do this but for a moment, if I am able to at all, so please pay attention."  
Nodding, Dean took an involuntary step back, looking at the angel intently.

His bedside lamp flickered as Cas shut his eyes, his fingers clenched into fists when suddenly, the light flashed and Dean almost stumbled back as a set of wings appeared on his bedroom wall. But not like he had seen in the barn, or anytime Cas had manifested his them; they looked limp, and feathers where falling as he stretched them, his shoulders rolling just like he had seen him do for the last few days.  
Cas opened his eyes and the light show ended leaving Cas winded and shaky as he looked at Dean uneasily.

"Were those your-"

"Yes, those were my wings Dean," Castiel finished, obviously agitated.

"But I've seen them before and they didn't look like that, and how did you make the light show without your mojo?" He asked curiously, stepping forwards a bit.

"My wings are apart of me, and therefor I can still use what little energy I have to make them known for a split second if need be,' he paused, grabbing his previously discarded shirt from Dean's bed. "And they look like that because since my grace has been taken they are slowly dying. And it is uncomfortable."

Dean nodded, suddenly it all making sense. "So thats whats with the whole neck rolling thing lately?"  
Cas nodded, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. And Dean realized now it was not an angel in his room anymore, it was just a man; a very shirtless man at the moment.  
Dean turned his gaze to the ceiling sheepishly, "You can, ya know, put your shirt back on now."  
Cas nodded, picking up the shirt from the bed and Dean tried not to notice how his lithe fingers kept fumbling with the small buttons.  
Dean had never noticed Cas like he was now, he was toned, muscles rippling underneath his tan skin and every few inches a small scar marred the firm flesh.

"Um, here," Dean stuttered, opening his end table and pulling out a small bottle. "Just some low dose pain pills. I get headaches sometimes," he explained, dumping two small pills into his hand.  
"Just two, if you need more come find me ok?"  
Castiel nodded and gulped down the small pills with no hesitation or need for water it seemed.  
"Thank you Dean, that is very helpful," He turned to leave but Dean gripped the edge of shirt making him pause at the doorway.  
"Listen, you don't have to hide things from us. Some communication would be good, ya know," Dean said firmly.  
Cas nodded, closing the door behind him.

___________________

Three days later Dean saw Cas in the library, a place that he seemed to frequent more than any other room in the bunker. He used to haunt the gym quite frequently, until apparently his wings where becoming too cumbersome to him when he sparred.  
Dean passed the room, a cup of water in his hand as he made his way to his room, his robe tied tightly around him; Dean halted and back peddled a few paces when he saw Cas curled onto the couch but it was obvious by the constant clenching of his fingers into his arms that he was not sleeping, at least not well.  
"Cas?" He whispered, looking both ways down the hall to make sure Kevin and Sam where still sleeping.

Cas bolted upright immediately at the sound of Dean's voice; his hair matted from laying on the couch and his eyes drawn and tired.  
"I am sorry Dean, was I disturbing you?" He asked quietly, his arms wrapping around him.  
Dean shook his head and sat down on the edge of the couch across from the fallen angel, taking in his disheveled appearance.  
"Cas, talk to me. Whats wrong," Dean demanded quietly, folding his arms and hoping that his stance showed Cas that he was not backing off from this.  
"Dean I am fine-"  
"Bullshit Cas. I thought we talked about this!" He hissed, standing up and fighting the urge to pace.  
Cas ducked his head, his hands fell from his side and hands twisted together.  
"Please, don't kick me out," He whispered, soft and broken.

That stopped Dean, who turned back to Cas and resisted the urge to yell.  
"Why would I kick you out?"  
"I am of no use to you anymore, I can barely sleep let alone be of any help with the angels, with heaven. The mess I created," he muttered. "But I have no where else to go, Dean."

Dean opened his mouth but no words came out. How could Cas think so little of them? Of him?  
"You really think after everything? After all we've-" He stopped, looking incredulously at the man that sat before him. Dean stopped his triad after he saw that it was just making Castiel feel worse.  
So instead, he crouched next to him, nervously placed a hand on his knee. "Cas, you're not going anywhere man, ok?"

Cas looked at him hopefully, his lips parted a bit in a soft smile.  
"Thank you Dean," he whispered, almost too soft to hear.

Dean saw the drawn look and the small lines around Castiel's eyes.  
"Its your back isn't it? Your wings?"  
Cas nodded dejectedly, "They are to the point of mere bone. The weight on my physical body without the support of my grace is...taxing."  
"How about the pain pills?" Asked Dean, removing his hand from his knee when he realized it was still setting there.  
Castiel shook his head, "They ceased working last night, I am at a loss at how to proceed. This is not something I have had to deal with before."  
It was then that Dean stood up and held out his hand to the ex angel. "Lets get you in bed, a heating pad might help."

Castiel didn't even ask what those where but followed Dean dutifully through the corridors to his bedroom. Cas's bed was still tightly made, no wrinkles or creases could be seen on the clean comforter. At least he was tidy.  
Dean started digging in Castiel's closet, moving a few boxes that they had stashed there during their inventory, a bunch of clutter and random finds that they figured they should keep around.

"Get in bed, lie down," Dean instructed, pulling a large heating pad from the back of closet. They had gotten it when Sam had been going through the trials, due to the fact that he could never seem to keep him warm, but then the thing sent him into a high fever so Dean had tossed it back here in the mean time.

Dean untangled the long cord and plugged it in to the nearest outlet closest to Cas's bed. Cas was laying down stiff in the bed; Dean could almost feel the apprehension rolling off of him.

"Lay on your stomach, I don't want this thing burning you," Dean instructed, turning the heating pad on low heat. Castiel did as he was told, his muscles rolling under tan skin as he crossed his arms under his head.  
Gently, Dean laid the warming pad onto the fallen angels back. He stiffened immediately before sighing as the heat started to sooth his sore muscles.

"Thank you," he breathed, his voice sounding soft and at ease for the first time in weeks. Dean smiled, rested his hand on his bare shoulder before walking out of the room.

___________________

Morning came and Dean was already in the kitchen, making toast and eggs. It was late for Cas, the man still had not emerged from his bedroom. It wasn't until Sam kept looking at him while he checked his watch every few moments, cramming his breakfast into his mouth half hazardly as he did so.  
"Dude, if you're worried about him, go check on him," Sam admonished finally, apparently not being able to take his older brothers lack of table manners and bouncing leg any longer.  
Dean looked away from his watch confused, "What?"  
Sam rolled his eyes, "You've looked at your phone five times in the last two minutes. Just go see why he isn't up."

Ten o'clock.

He sat there for a few more moments in silence, like he was trying to prove something to his younger brother.  
Dean didn't say anything just pushed back his chair and ignored the half crooked smile Sam tried to hide as he walked up the stairs towards Castiel's room.  
He stopped at the door, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out why he was nervous in the first place.  
It was just Cas after all.

He knocked quickly, "Cas, you awake?"  
Dean strained his ears from signs of life behind the door, but only heard the bed spread shuffle a bit. Squaring his jaw, he twisted the door knob forcefully and swung the door open.  
Dean made out Castiel's form from under the rumpled covers, his toes hanging out the end of the blanket.

"Cas?" He ventured in slowly.

"Dean..." Came Cas's soft voice, barely audible from under his nest of blankets. "I believe that the heating device has worked very well."

Dean snickered a bit, "Ok well I'm glad to hear it." He went to leave, casting one last look at the lump on the bed that was Cas.

______________________

It wasn't until a few day later that things went to shit.  
Castiel was assisting Sam categorize a few dozen boxes of artifacts in one of the hidden nooks they had discovered in a storage closet. Sam had his back turned to Cas when he heard a loud thud and strangled yelp.  
"Cas?" Sam exclaimed, whipping around to see the fallen angel curled on the cement floor, the contents of the box littering the floor around him.

"I apologize Sam,' Castiel murmured, his right arm wrapped around him. "I hope I didn't break anything."

Sam stooped next to him, helping the man to his feet, careful of the artifacts scattered at his feet.

"Don't worry about it, what happened?" He asked, eyeing the hunched man in a concerned manner.

"I believe, I stumbled."

Sam knew when he was being lied to, he had done it professionally his whole life and the grimace plastered on Cas's face was not the cause of a trip or misstep.

"Here," Sam slung an arm over his shoulder, "Lets get you to bed."

Cas made no complaints as the taller man helped him to his room, slowly and watching every wince that Cas attempted to suppress.

They limped down the hall, Sam shooting Cas concerned looks with every wince. To Sam's knowledge, this was an isolated incident. But of course, he was human now, and perhaps this was just him getting used to the aches and pains of humanity.

He deposited the fallen angel on his bed, hoisting his legs to join his torso. Cas heaved a sigh of relief when he was finally horizontal.

"I'll go get you some aspirin and water ok?"

Cas just nodded, eyes still shut.

Sam rushed into the kitchen, sorting through their impressive stash of medical equipment and supplies to find the bottle of pain relievers and grab a bottle of water from the bridge.

"You ok?" Dean called, seeing Sam grab the items a bit concerned.

"No, yea, I'm fine. Its for Cas," Sam explained, gesturing to the water bottle.

Dean's face fell at his words. "What do you mean? What happened to him?"

Sam shrugged, obviously not as concerned as Dean. "He said he slipped while we were moving some boxes-"

Dean paled, "Shit." He grabbed the items out of Sam's arms without an explanation, and left his younger brother in the kitchen with a bewildered look on his face.

_________________

Dean opened the door to Castiel's room softly, light streaming in from the hallway just enough for him to make out the fallen angel curled up on the bed.

"Cas?" He called softly, stepping into the small, empty room.

"I believe I have overexerted myself," came the breathy reply.

Dean scoffed, moving next to him and setting the water on the bed side table.

"I think thats an understatement."

Cas shrugged and buried his face in the pillow.

"Your wings still bothering you?"

Cas just nodded, "Thank you for your remedies but I believe the only thing I have left to do now is suffer through this."

Dean stopped as a thought flittered across his mind, slammed his eyes shut and nearly shook his head to make it disappear.  
No way was he doing that.

Cas turned, gasping a bit as his shoulders move.

"Fuck," Dean muttered, running a hand over his face.

"Pardon?" Cas asked, turning towards Dean with an confused look on his face.

"Just um, stay there ok?" Dean instructed as he ran down the hall and into the bathroom. He dug through the medicine cabinet until he found what he was looking for and, before looking both ways he snuck back into Castiel's room and locked the door.

"Dean?"

"Yea, just gimme a minute," Dean replied, mentally pumping himself up for the awkwardness he knew was about to ensue.  
Gently he placed a hand on Cas's back, just below his shoulder blade.  
He felt him stiffen immediately, throwing a bewildered look over his shoulder.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Just, lets never talk about this again ok?"

"I don't understa-" his statement was cut off by a guttural moan, his face collapsing back into the pillow.  
Dean smirked a bit as his lotion slick fingers pushed deeply into Cas's taunt muscles, working them loose with a practiced skill.

"Dean this feels-"

"Yea I know shut up about it," Dean whispered, trying not to think too much into the situation as his other hand joined the first, roaming over Cas's upper back and tracing the sore muscles.

He found that he could't get enough leverage sitting on the edge of the bed and his arms were quickly getting tired.

"Here just, uh...don't move.' Dean stammered nervously as he got to his feet.

The older Winchester looked down at the prone man laying absolutely still beneath him and he'd be damned because someone must have turned up the heat because he was finding it difficult to breath.

Gingerly, he got back on the bed and carefully put one leg over Cas's back, straddling his lower waist and giving him a more accessibility.

He heard Cas exhale a bit underneath him, "Yea don't act like I'm that heavy asshole," he smirked, trying to chase away his nervousness with some humor.

"Please continue," Cas asked, looking back towards him.

So Dean put his hands back on Castiel's taunt shoulders, following the curves of muscles and kneading the rigid flesh he found.

Dean wasn't sure how much time had gone by but Cas was near putty in his hands now and he found his fingers roaming the fallen angel's lower back. He pushed gently at the base of Cas's spine and a broken moan emitted from his parted lips.

Dean froze; his fingers still lingering at the spot. But he pressed around the muscles there as Cas once again let out a breathy sigh.

"You okay there man?" Dean ventured, his voice nearly catching in his throat.

Cas just nodded and Dean went back to work, still arguing with himself in his head why he was doing this at all. Could had just gotten the guy some pain pills and let him sleep it off. What the fuck was he thinking?

Dean was so deep in thought that he didn't notice, or maybe didn't want to notice the near silent moans that keep escaping Castiel's mouth as his hands continued downwards, or the way his hips were moving in motion with Dean's fingers.

This was going too far, was all Dean could think. But a small, whispering part of him thought about how it wasn't going far enough, that all this time and all this tension had always been leading to this.

"Dean," Cas whispered, breaking Dean out of his revere.

"Uh, yea Cas?" Dean stammered, his hands immediately dropping to the bed.

"That feels...' Cas struggled for a moment, as if he wasn't sure of the right words. "Good. It feels good."

Dean smiled despite himself. "You know, after hell, after all the shit I went through. Fuck it took me a long time to remember that touch can be a good thing ya know? It doesn't always hurt."

Shifting underneath, Cas met his eyes. "I would not be opposed to you continuing. Its been...comforting."

Dean didn't miss how Castiel's pupils were blown wide or how sweat was clinging to his brow, and he definitely didn't notice how his tongue wet his chapped lips while he stared at Dean.  
He just nodded and continued his ministrations, trying to ignore the lust he felt pooling in his abdomen.

He stopped at Castiel's pajama bottoms, his fingers teasing the elastic that lay there.

Dean found himself moving farther back on Cas's legs, and hooking the elastic.

"Cas, roll over."

And he did, he was gasping, his eyes wide and mouth parted as he stared up at Dean.

"Oh for fucks sake," Dean exclaimed softly and dove into the other man's space, cutting the distance between them and colliding their lips together. Castiel reciprocated in kind, sloppy and inexperienced but passionate none the less.  
Dean gently ran his tongue along fallen angel's bottom lip and as he opened his mouth in a soft gasp he massaged his tongue with his own, Castiel moaning loudly into the kiss.

Dean pulled back, "We gotta be quiet ok?"

Cas nodded, his hands going to Dean's jean clad hips as if he was afraid he would leave as soon as the silence had been broken.

"Not going anywhere," Dean gasped, diving in for another bruising kiss.

Dean's fingers danced down Cas's rib cage before resting safely on his sharp hip bones, finger tips dancing along the crevices as Cas moaned into their kiss.

The older Winchester crashed their hips together almost involuntarily as he slotted himself in between Castiel's legs, trying desperately to get closer.

"Dean-" Cas choked out, his face flushed as sweat pooled at his hairline. Dean felt the blunt ends of Castiel's finger nails raking across his ribs, leaving thin white lines in their wake.

He moved again, slower this time, pressing the right places and Cas slowly came undone underneath him.

Dean couldn't help but watch in rapture as the once mighty angel writhed against him, his hips moving against Deans in a futile effort to bury himself in him.

"We gotta," Dean panted out, pushing Castiel's hips into the mattress, slowing their movements. "We gotta slow down man."

Castiel's eyes snapped open, confused and frustrated.

"I don't understand why," he growled, fingers digging into Dean's hips.

"Because you're hurting and your angry. And this," he gestured to the both of them. "Is new to you. Fuck its completely unchartered territory for me. I don't want to fuck this up."

Cas was still flushed and heaving, but he nodded.  
They stayed there, staring at each other. Dean was having trouble focusing, his eyes mapping the lines under Castiel's own, the way his brow was furrowed and the way he lips were parted at this exact moment. He squashed the impending panic he knew was bubbling in his chest, it was too close, it was too intimate. And it was Cas.

"Dean, stop," whispered Cas, leaning his head forward, bumping his forehead again the older Winchester's and forcing him to look up. "Even without my grace I can nearly hear your thoughts screaming. Just, stop."

A peppering of nervous kissing were being trailed down his chin and onto his neck, and he was acutely aware that the loud moan came from him as Cas latched onto his pulse point and worried the skin there.

Burying his face in the crook of Cas's neck, his panted as his tongue darted to caress the bruising skin that was blossoming on his neck.  
He was comfortable there, curled into Cas as the other man stroked the back of his neck were his hairline ended.  
It was late and Dean was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He  
vaguely remembers rolling off the ex angel and pulling him closer, his back flush against his chest. He remembers breathing in the smell of the shampoo that he Dean had bought him and then passing into the most peaceful sleep he had had in ages.

SPNSPNSPNSPN

"Dean." came a voice, breaking through the haze of his unconsciousness. "Dean, wake up."

Dean groaned in frustration as his mind raced to remember why there was someone in bed with him, a very male and shirtless someone.  
Cas.

"Shit!" He gasped, sitting up right and attempting to untangle himself from the bedsheets. He whipped his head to see Cas with his back to him, a bit of the comforter wrapped around him like a security blanket, his head hanging.

Dean tentatively reached a hand out, his heart still racing after the shock as last nights events came flooding back to him. But before his hand could make purchase, Cas spoke.

"They're gone," he announced gruffly, his voice gravely from sleep and sorrow.

"Whats gone feathers?" Dean whispered, almost afraid to speak.

Castiel sighed and lowered the blanket that covered his back all the while hanging his head in shame.

There, in shocking contrast to the unmarred and tan skin, lay two perfectly straight lines that ran side by side down each shoulder blade. They were raised but white, as if they had been healed long ago.

Dean didn't know quite what to say.

He moved slowly, careful not to startle the grieving man as he brought himself next to him.

"Does it hurt?"

Cas shook his head, his eyes downcast. "No. Your presence last night relieved any ill affects that had been plaguing me."

Swallowing hard, Dean timidly took a hand and placed it over Cas's white knuckle grip on the bedsheets. He instantly relaxed and allowed their fingers to wind together.

"Anything I can do now?"

Castiel ventured to look at him finally, "Coffee would be satisfactory."

Dean nodded, smiling a bit. "Yea I can do that." He moved to get up, pulling his previously discarded shirt over his head and attempted to sooth his bed ridden hair.

Walking to the door, he stopped and looked back to Castiel who still remained perched on the side of the bed.

"Are we, I dunno, good I guess?"

Cas smiled at his words and his obvious nervousness.

"Yes Dean, we are very good."

"Ok, ok cool."

He left the room, shutting the door behind him softly.

Cas smiled when he heard a sharp exclamation come from the kitchen, obviously from Sam.

"Dude is that a hickey!"

_________________

Dean Winchester was not panicking. At least thats what he told himself as he visibly paled and his mouth opened and closed like a dying fish under his younger brothers scrutiny. Sam just stared at him, his eyebrows raised and his eyes wide and he took in his disheveled appearance. A few hundred lies and excuses were on the tip of Dean's tongue, but none of them quite would explain the dark purple bruise adorning his skin.  
Dean absentmindedly touched the bruised and tried to smirk it off.  
"Dude you haven't left the bunker in days, and that," Sam gestured to the offending mark. "Was not there yesterday."  
That was when apparently Cas decided it was the opportune time to see what was taking his coffee so long. Dean shut his eyes embarrassed as he heard Cas shuffle sleepily into the area and Sam's eyes widened and a grin spread across his face as his eyes moved from his older brother to the fallen angel.  
"No shit," Sam muttered, laughing a bit.  
Dean rolled his eyes and pushed passed him, "Can your shit Sammy," he snapped, pushing past both Sam and the bewildered Castiel to get to the kitchen and finish his original task.  
He may have slammed the coffee pot down with a little too much force as he berated himself for not remembering the mark Cas had left on him. Cas. The angel, his best friend. A dude for that matter.

Now Dean was in no way prejudice but he just never in his life thought he would even dream about the turning down the soft curves of a woman for the hard lines of a man. Those thoughts lead him to remember the way Cas gasped last night when he had slotted their hips together, and the way his skin tasted under his tongue. Castiel had shivered when he bit the skin over his ribs and the way he had grabbed Dean's hip in an almost inhuman, bruising grip- "Is that for me?" Came a gruff voice next to him. Dean nearly jumped, shocked out of his memory and brought into the present where Castiel was standing before him, wrinkled grey tee shirt and soft black pajama pants. He stood close to Dean, way too close for a friendly morning chat. It was familiar somehow and it spoke volumes on how Cas was reacting to what had happened last night. Castiel had been careful in past to keep his distance, or at least his idea of an appropriate distance when he had been constantly chastised by the human on proper protocol concerning personal space.

Dean just nodded and handed the steaming mug to the fallen angel who took it gratefully.  
He watched as Cas turned to walk away, but he paused nervously at the doorway.

"I want to thank you, for what you did last night," he nearly whispered, still not looking in Dean's direction but rather at the mug he had just placed in his hands. "And I understand it was a rather difficult situation for you and I just want you to know that I realize it won't happen again. I just hope it won't affect our friendship."  
Dean didn't even get a chance to respond before he walked out of the kitchen and Dean was left alone again.

"Fuck," he muttered, running a hand over his face.

"Hey, uh you ok?" Sam asked, coming in quietly and looking behind him.

"Holy fuck what is this, the inquisition?" Dean snapped, his hand immediately going to his neck to hide Castiel's mark on his skin.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Dude calm down, ok? I didn't mean to make it a big deal back there." Dean sighed, seeing how serious Sam was, no more shit eating grin or obvious amusement at his older brothers discomfort.

"Yea I'm good, thanks," Dean nodded, walked past his brother who let out an annoyed huff as he did so.

_________________________

Dean found Cas in the library, curled onto the couch with the coffee he made him still in his hands. He didn't have a book and the tv was off as he stared blankly into space.  
"Hey Cas,' Dean stared, startling the man as he jerked his head to follow Dean who drug a chair to sit nearer to Cas. "Can we talk?"

Castiel nodded, setting aside the cup and giving Dean his full attention. That was something he always did, no matter what was going on, what war was raging or how many assholes were staked against them, he always stopped everything and made Dean the center of his attention. Dean always noticed it, but always tucked it away as something Cas just did for everyone, no matter how much his subconsciousness reminded him that for Cas, he was always the exception.

"Yes, of course."

Dean started off staring at the floor, a hand rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he stumbled over his words.

"Listen, I know how you think that I did what I did last night out of pity," Dean offered quietly, throwing a look over his shoulder to make sure they were still alone in the large room. "But it wasn't ok?"

Dean smiled just a bit when Castiel's eyes left his hands and stared at Dean in complete disbelief.

"Listen," The older Winchester stumbled, "I'm not good with all this, feeling shit, but I am trying here Cas. You gotta believe me there."

The once celestial being tilted his head, the way he always did and just like all the times before Dean Winchester's stomach flipped.

"I appreciate your honesty, Dean."

"Why am I sensing a but coming on," Dean asked as his heart sank.

Ducking his head, Dean watched with stirring anxiety while Cas wrung his hands together.

"I don't deserve your admiration, Dean. Last night I was weak,' he explained, his expression wrought with self hatred. He turned to look at Dean. "It will not happen again."

"So are you saying," Dean began, standing up slowly. "That this meant nothing to you?"

Castiel shook his head sorrowfully, "No, Dean you misunderstand. It meant, everything to me,' he mourned. "And that is why I cannot have you."

Dean stared at him aghast, before shaking his head while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ya know Cas, you and me. Its uh, its been a long time coming. And as freaked out as I am, I am willing to give us a chance. I put myself on the line last night, so don't be such a fucking coward," He stormed out, stopping at the door, his face contorted in rage and a deep underlying sadness. "I know I am not good enough for you Cas, but be a fucking man and tell it to me straight."

He saw Castiel open his mouth but he didn't give him a chance. He stalked out of the library with his hands clenched in fists, bumping into Sam as he retreated to the quiet of his room.

"Dean, whats wrong-"

"Not now Sam!" He snapped, slamming his bedroom door with more force than necessary.

Feeling the swirling pit of rejection deep in his stomach, the force of Castiel's words weighted heavy on him and it hadn't been in a very long time since he had felt that thrown away. After everything he said, THAWK, his fist hit the wall hard, his knuckles cracking at the abuse. He held his throbbing fist close to his body and walked to his bathroom, feeling like an absolute idiot. He took the gauze from the cabinet and wrapped his broken knuckles carefully, but it wasn't until he looked up to see himself in the mirror that he his stomach dropped again and he felt the rage all over. The bruise Cas had left, a reminder of what they did last night and what will never happen again.

All of a sudden he was tired. Too fucking tired of all the bullshit that was constantly surrounding his life. And Cas? Well, he was Cas and there was never going to be anyone else like him. So when he realized that last night, when he finally pushed down that barrier only to get rejected? That stung a bit. But he was Dean Winchester, he reasoned, and he's had worse.

At least thats what he was telling himself.

_________________

 

Sam watched his older brother lock himself away in his room, wincing as he slammed the door with enough vigor to rattle the ancient walls.  
He turned to the entrance of the library were he knew Cas was hiding out. Sam stopped himself for a moment, thinking really hard if he was absolutely sure he wanted to get in the middle of this.  
He heard something hard hit the wall in Dean's room and rolled his eyes. As if he had a choice when it came to something like this.  
Dean's romantic entanglements were few and far between, actual relationships not counting one night stands Sam could count on one hand. But this was different, something way out of left field for Dean. This was not only a guy, but an angel (or ex angel), and their best friend.

"I'm so going to regret this," He murmured to himself before walking into the library to see Cas, curled into the couch with his head buried in his arms he had wrapped around his knees.

"Um, Cas?" He tried, looking over the pathetic bundle currently attached to the vintage armchair.

"Yes Sam," Came the muffled reply, still not bothering to look up from his arm.

"Could we talk?"

"About?"

"Dean."

"There is nothing to talk about," Cas replied, lifting to head to reveal red rimmed eyes though his face was dry. His hair was ratted as if he had ran his hands repeatedly through the strands.

Sam shook his head, "Well I think there is. You know I live here too, so you two slamming shit around and curling up in little balls and telling me everything is fine, isn't cool. Now we need to talk this out so things get back to normal; or as normal as they get around here."

Castiel didn't flinch at his admonishment, only stared back and squinted his eyes like he always does when he is aggravated. But he nodded finally and untangled his limbs from their choke hold.

"What is there to discuss then?"

Sam rolled his eyes and huffed, leaning forward on his knees, "What isn't there? What happened last night? And why is Dean throwing punches in his bedroom?"

"Dean came to me last night to held ease my discomfort. In short, we ended up in a very, intimate fashion. I believe the term you use is "making out," if I am using the term correctly."

Sam Winchester blinked hard at the information offered to him, that was not something he really wanted to know but fuck, he did ask.

"Alright so, you guys kissed or whatever. So whats up with today?"

Castiel sighed, closing his eyes before continuing. "Sam, your brother is complicated," Sam huffed in acknowledgement. "But he is the single most pure thing I have ever seen. The moment I pulled him from the pit I knew that. Everything I did, everything I have done was for him. I have fallen, quite literally recently, in so many ways for Dean."

Sam listened, urging him on. "And thats bad?"

Castiel nodded, his eyes dark as he explained, "Your brother is truly a pure soul. And the things I have done, the destruction I caused. I am not worthy to be entangled with him. I will ruin him."

After a few moments of Sam shook his head, sighing deeply.

"Cas, you already have man. You're the only person he has ever gave a damn about besides me in a long time. He trusts you, maybe too much. The thing you don't understand about Dean is that he gives and gives. With no thought of anything in return, hell he'd rather you not. He's the kind of person that would sacrifice his soul for his brother and not expect anything. He also has trouble trusting anyone, hell even me," as the words were leaving his mouth Sam thought back to all the times Cas and Dean were in contact, the way Dean looked at Castiel when he thought no one was looking, or the way he found him brushing his fingers over that tan trench coat that he locked away in the trunk after Cas's stint with the leviathan. "And romance isn't even on his list. He never sticks around to get attached emotionally and he offered that to you Cas. You realize what that means for him?"

Castiel hung his head, staring holes in the carpet underneath his feet.

"And I don't know if you've noticed or not, but Dean doesn't normally go for guys," he saw Cas smirk a bit, his eyes hidden behind the veil of lashes. "He doesn't care what you have done or the fact that you're no longer an angel. He just wants you."

Sam stood finally, the silence in the room was deafening and he had said all he could say to the fallen angel. The silence coming from Dean's room spoke volumes to the younger Winchester and his heart ached for his brother; if there was anyone that deserved this it was him.

"If I was given a chance of a relationship like that, I'd fight for it."

And with that, Sam left Cas to his thoughts.

______________________

Dean was laid back on his bed staring at the ceiling, his fist throbbing and the ache spreading to his wrist but he couldn't find it in himself to care. There was a soft, but insistent knock on his door. He didn't even turn his head.  
"I told you I don't want to talk to you Sam, so take your bullshit therapy crap and take it somewhere else." He exclaimed angrily, wincing as he flexed his wrist.

The door started to creak open much to his annoyance. Dean stood up and walked towards the door, "Sam I just fucking said-" and he stopped, his breath hitched as Cas revealed himself.

"May I come in?" He requested softly, his eyes pleading.

Dean thought about it for a minute before shrugging, "Yea whatever man."

Nodding his thanks, Cas shut the door behind him and Dean caught him staring at the nice size dent his fist made in the wall.

"Did the wall personally offend you?" He nodded towards his hastily wrapped hand.

Dean scoffed, "What do you want Cas?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Cas appeared right behind him as he turned, his eyes never leaving Dean's as he took the hunter's injured hand in his own.

Dean stood rigid, his skin tingling as Cas brushed the bandage and started unwrapping it. He didn't object as Cas unwrapped his hand completely, revealing the deepening purple bruising.

"You need to be more careful," Castiel reprimanded gently and Dean just shrugged, trying to hide a wince as Cas wrapped his hand more securely before letting it go.

"Cas, listen I know that-" Cas didn't let him finish but closed the space between them, crashing his lips against his, pushing him back towards the bed.

"Cas what are you doing?" Dean breathed as his head spun with Castiel's proximity. "You said-"

"Forget what I said," Cas instructed, unbuttoning Dean's flannel with trembling and fumbling fingers. "I cannot do this anymore Dean. You deserve this, we deserve this."

"I don't deserve anything Cas," Dean stated, letting the ex angel push his over shirt off him and drop it on the floor.

"You deserve everything, Dean."

Dean felt Castiel's hand on his chest, pushing him back to sit on the bed, his heart pounding underneath the other man's fingers.

There lips met again, and Dean was pleasantly surprised to find that Cas was a quick learner. He nibbled gently at Dean's bottom lip, request entrance and Dean found himself whimpering despite himself as Cas's tongue timidly touched his own.

"Holy fuck feathers," Dean felt his body responding to the fallen angel's touch, letting his own hands wander over the other man's skin. "You're wearing too much clothes."

Castiel nodded, leaning down to bite at the soft spot underneath Dean's jaw, licking and soothing the skin beneath him. The feel of the scruff from Castiel's cheek was rough against the tender skin of his throat. It was different, but goddamn it was Cas and it felt amazing.

Dean tugged and pulled at Castiel's thin shirt and wretched it over his head, Cas's hair wild as it was pulled roughly through the neck hole.

The hunter felt himself being pressed into the bed, Castiel's weight comfortable over him.

"You know, I never thought you'd be the one in charge here," Dean admitted, his eyes shut as Cas made his way down his body, his lips mapping each scar and curve of his muscular body.

"And why is that Winchester?" Cas asked gravely, nipping at the sensitive flesh near his ribs.

"I dunno, I have a lot more experience in the whole, intimacy department."

Dean could almost feel Cas's eyes roll. "Dean, I am far older than you can fathom and have watched humanity in all its forms. Don't under estimate me."

Dean exhaled as he heard his buckle snap open, he lifted his hips for Cas to shuffle the old jeans down his hips and throw them in the corner.

"Yea I am starting to get that."

Dean felt Castiel let his fingers trace the elastic of his underwear and his brain fluttered to life. After all the kissing, fondling and biting had been pretty pg, but this. This was real and it was completely unchartered territory for the older Winchester and that freaked him out more than he would like to admit.

"Dean, are you alright?" He heard Cas ask, his voice deep as he moved between Dean's legs, slotting himself between the man perfectly.

"Uh yea, I'm good," Dean answered, licking his dry lips hesitantly. Honestly, he thought he'd be the one doing this and this changed everything.

"We can stop, you're getting nervous," Observed the fallen angel, already distancing himself from the laying man, his hands moving from his boxers to a more safe location, moving soothing circles on his hips.

"No!" Snapped Dean immediately, raising up on his elbows to look at Cas. "I'm just wrapping my head around it, ok? Please."

With him closer to him, Cas brought a hand to rest behind Dean's head and pulled him closer to meet his lips. They stayed that way for a moment, gently caressing of tongue and lips until Dean felt his nerves die away with each tender touch.

"Let me," Cas asked, pushing him back down after one final kiss.

Dean took deep breaths as his last remaining layer was discarded and he felt Cas follow suit. He heard a loud moan break free from his mouth as Cas brought their two bodies together, hot skin touching and moving against each other.

"Holy shit, holy shit," Dean panted over and over. It was almost too much; the feel of Castiel all around him, his fingers tracing the small scars on his ribs while one held his hips down on the mattress as he thrust against him.

"Is this ok?" Cas breathed above him.

"Shit yea, its good Cas," he replied breathlessly as he wound his hands through the sheets.

It wasn't how Dean was expecting everything to go, but the feeling of Cas curling his fingers into his hips and the brush of their skin against each other's was intoxicating.

"Dean, are you alright?" Cas whispered softly, his hips grinding down on Dean as he spoke, causing Dean's eyes to flutter at the sensation.

He paused, biting his lip as nervousness pooled once again in the pit of his stomach. The thought of what Cas wanted, what Dean wanted made him question everything he thought he knew about himself. Could he do this? He had no idea what he was in for but he nodded, because it was Cas. And he trusted Cas.

Castiel was all around him at this point, pressing, pulling and biting. Dean let himself get lost in the sensations, the feel of Cas's rough fingers gliding down his sides and holding his hips in place as he rocked against him over and over.

"Castiel," Dean moaned as he threw his bed back against the pillows, feeling himself slowly losing control.

He felt Cas hum against his skin, slick with sweat. "I like when you do that," he admitted, his voice deeper than usual.

"Do what?" Moaned Dean, his eyes closed as Cas rubbed against him harder and with more aggression.

"Say my name like that," He whispered bringing himself up to Dean's level, their chests brushing together as he continued to thrust their clothed arousals against each other.

"Castiel," he smiled as he let it slip between clenched teeth, he heard Cas moan and felt him press his forehead against his shoulder.

It took Dean by surprise as he felt his body start to seize, the roaring in his ears and the way he clung to Cas almost startled him as he shuddered his release, feeling Cas following suit as his blunt finger nails left a trail of red down his skin.

They lay there like that, Castiel's weight keeping him comfortably pinned to the bed, his warm breath misting over his shoulder.

Dean almost didn't realize he was doing it, his fingers sliding up and down Cas's spine as he trembled on top of him still recovering from their moment of passion.

He was lost in his thoughts when Cas pulled his head away from were it had been tucked away on Dean's shoulder and he found himself under the scrutiny of those blue eyes.  
The hunter found himself shrinking away from the penetrating gaze of the fallen angel, suddenly feeling exposed under his gaze.

"Dean, please look at me."

Dean found himself looking at Cas's neck, who seemed to be sporting a few matching bruises himself. He almost smiled a bit, knowing that he had put those there. Dean wasn't much for a bunch of sweet nothing after any intimate encounters, no matter how chaste this one had been considering his normal escapades.

Dean felt an insistent pressure on his chin, forcing him to look upwards and to meet the ex angel's eyes.

"I am sorry, if I said the wrong things earlier,' Cas apologized softly, pulling back onto his elbow as if he was aware on how nervous the older Winchester felt. "I was...apprehensive. I didn't feel like I deserved what you were offering me. And I still don't."  
He took a brief moment to brush a thumb across Dean's cheek.  
"But you do, and I cannot deny that to you. Or myself."

Dean let his right hand press softly against Castiel's shoulder blade.

"Is it bothering you anymore?" He asked, completely changing the subject to something more comfortable.

Cas shook his head, his eyes saddened as a deep sigh escaped him. "No, they have vanished from this plane. They will no longer affect me."

"I'm sorry."

Castiel shrugged then pulled himself away from Dean, "I am unaware of the protocol at this point," he admitted, his eyes flickering to Dean.

"Protocol?"

Cas nodded, rolling off of Dean and he tried not to miss the feel of the other man on top of him.

"Honestly?' Dean replied, standing up and flinging his boxers into the corner. "I'm not really sure. This is normally as far as I go with the whole relationship shit."

Dean had his back to Cas, and he smirked as he felt the other man's eyes on his naked body as he pulled on some loose pajama pants.

He turned around to see Cas's flushed face and tried not to feel nervous all over again.

"This is...new for me too Cas," He confessed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sam told me that you normally do not engage in intimate relationships with members of the same gender," Castiel revealed.

Dean turned bright red, "You talked to Sam?"

"Well, he spoke to me. He helped me see the error of my ways," He disclosed.

"Huh," Dean wasn't honestly surprised; more embarrassed and hoped Cas wasn't too revealing in his candor.

Castiel stood from the bed and nervously stood in front of Dean. The hunter nearly jumped out of his skin when Cas put a hand on his hip, the other grazing over the scratching on his rib cage.

"Dean, may I kiss you?" He asked in earnest, his eyes searching as if he was wondering if he was doing the right thing at this point.

Dean Winchester knew he had a stupid grin on his face when he nodded and he couldn't hold back his hum of apprehension as the angel took control once again, both hands cradling his face.

He could get used to this.

 

___________________

Things were quiet at the Bunker, Dean was content on how things were running. Sam was nearly at full strength after lying low after the Trials had ravaged his system. Cas had stepped in with a few healing charms and small herbs that had helped the process along, Dean had sat there silent as Cas had dripped holy oil on Sam's head, tracing small symbols on his chest as his brother looked around somewhat nervously. But it had helped and that is something Dean will be forever grateful to Cas for.

Between Cas and him, well that was a little more complicated. Behind closed doors Dean was putty in the fallen angel's hands. He had never been more at home when he was with Cas, or more fucking terrified. He couldn't pin down the way he felt with Cas right away, because it was never something he had experienced. He felt-safe? Content. And it scared the shit out of him, though he would never admit that.  
The older Winchester was trying desperately not to let his insecurities get to him or to let it show near Castiel.

But during breakfast one morning, everything came to a head.

Cas had been staying in his own room at night still because as much as Dean wanted to wake up, curled around the man he just couldn't allow himself that luxury. Not yet.  
He had given himself permission to feel for Cas but he is still needed time for his head to wrap around what he was feeling and how it would affect him in the long run.  
So they touched, held each other and lingered as long as Dean would allow before Cas left for the night; they met the next morning in the kitchen and Dean would have cup of coffee waiting for Cas next to him. Cas was not someone you would call a morning person, he barely spoke until after breakfast but he would slip a small smile to the eldest Winchester.

Sam pretended everything was pretty much the same and Dean thanked him for it. The insecurities he had running through his head almost constantly were only bearable knowing that his younger brother not only approved, but kind of set them up.

Today Dean was on edge, Sam had found a hunt a few hours north of them and was trying to convince Dean that they should take it, maybe even get Cas in on it. Dean had his a white knuckle grip on his spoon while Sam made his case, not looking up from his bowl.

"C'mon Dean, its not like I stopped hunting during the trials. And Cas said I was fine now, ok? It looks like a salt and burn anyway, something simple to break Cas in," Sam reasoned.

"Yea I'm not too excited about bringing Cas hunting, and I think you need some more time. Get another hunter on it," Dean said with a sound of finality edged in his voice.

"I think Cas can handle himself," Sam replied, rolling his eyes before shutting his computer angrily.

"Yea well I'll be the judge of that," Dean snapped, dropping the spoon into the half finished bowl and scooted back his chair with a screech.

"The judge of what?" Came Castiel's tired voice as he trudged from the bunker's hall.

"A hunt, I found a hunt," Sam chimed in before Dean could get a word in, and he ignored the glare that Dean shot him as he continued. "Probably just a ghost."

Cas perked up a bit, "That sounds like something that we should take of, is it not?"

"That was I was saying, wasn't I Dean?" The younger Winchester said casting him a withering side glance.

"Yea and I said no," Dean exclaimed, grabbing his breakfast dishes and slamming them into the kitchen sink with more fervor that necessary.

Trying to calm his breathing, Dean gripped the edge of the sink while Cas and Sam talked about the hunt only a few feet away.

"I said no hunting!" Dean finally exclaimed, slamming his hands on the kitchen counter with a resounding smack.

"Dean I don't see what the big deal is-"

"Obviously!' Dean seethed. "But I said no and thats final."

He felt a hand touch his bare arm and he spun around to see Cas's disapproving glare. He shrugged off his touch violently, "Don't fucking touch me, man!"

He stalked off before he had a chance to see the look of hurt on Cas's face.

SPNSPNSPN

Cas turned to face Sam, confusion plain on his face.

"I don't understand, why is Dean so adverse to us hunting?"

Sam grimaced, running a hand through his hair and sitting back down heavily.

"I think Dean is worried. About me," he looked Cas up and down. "About you."

Squinting at the younger Winchester he sat down next to him, "I don't understand. I have been fighting since the birth of the sun, I believe I am more than capable than handling a simple haunting."

Sam shrugged. "Your are human now, Cas. He's probably worried you won't know how to handle yourself. You know how Dean worries."

"He shouldn't worry about me, I am more than capable."

"Maybe you should talk to him, maybe you'll have better luck that I will." Sam muttered

Castiel nodded, a look of determination set on his face.

SPNSPNSPN

"Dean may I speak with you?" Came a voice behind him.

Dean scoffed. "Geez Cas ever heard of knocking?"

The elder Winchester could almost hear Castiel's trade mark head tilt even without turning around.

"What Cas?" He mumbled, skipping to the inevitable.

"I do not understand why you don't wish me to hunt with you."

Dean finally turned to face the fallen angel, "Its not just you Cas, its Sam too. You guys aren't ready. You just got over losing your wings, Sam is barely fit enough to jog around the block."

Castiel raised his eyebrows at his statement, "You don't think I could handle myself without my angelic abilities?"

Shaking his head he looked Cas up and down, "You're just getting used to the whole humanity thing. Give it time before you go barreling in half cocked."

There was rustle of fabric and Dean barely had time to react as the ex angel launched himself at the hunter.  
Dean felt himself being shoved into the adjacent wall, his back meeting the plaster with a dull thud almost hard enough to knock the air out of him.

Immediately he felt Cas's teeth at his neck, nipping and leaving small bruises in their wake. He couldn't help but let out a long moan as he felt Cas's lithe fingers tearing the thin fabric of his shirt, ripping it over his head before he had time to think.

"You do not need to protect me Winchester," growled Cas, his hot breath ghosting over Dean's ear as his hands run up and down his sides. Dean could barely think straight, let alone talk as Cas found his way down his collar bone.

"Cas, please," Dean moaned wantonly. "Please man."

"Please what Dean?" Castiel demanded, still holding him to the wall as Dean writhed against any pressure that Cas would afford him.

"Just, fuck Cas touch me please," He whined. Dean tried to not listen to himself beg, Dean Winchester did not beg, but Cas was slowly pulling him apart.

"Not like this." He heard Cas whisper.

Dean groaned in frustration as Cas pulled away from him, pushing him towards the bed; Dean didn't take his eyes off him, his hair splayed in every which way from Dean's forceful caresses and his eyes blown wide with a frenzy Dean had never seen on him before. And fuck did he look amazing, and terrifying at the same time. His shoulder's squared and his gaze leveled on Dean made him look bigger and more powerful than the mere mortal that he had succumb to be.

The hunter's knees hit the back of the bed sending him careening onto the soft, welcoming mattress. Cas was over him in a moment, legs straddling either side of him, pressing him into the bed.

"Castiel, please," Dean rambled, the feeling of Cas over his abdomen was killing him slowly.

Dean swore he saw the fallen angel smirk above him as he rocked forward, his arousal pressing into Dean's creating a friction that sent Dean's eyes back into his head.

Feeling the bed dip beside him he snapped open his eyes to see Cas struggling with the zipper of the hunter's worn jeans and wordlessly, Dean lifted his hips as they slipped down to around his ankles.

Dean tried hard to catch his breath, his eyes following Cas as he slowly peeled his pajama pants and threw them to the side of the room. They hadn't gone this far, heavy handed groping and pg-13 make out sessions that left them both wanting for more. But Dean always felt himself pulling back, he remembered vividly the night when Cas had playful teased the back of his neck while his hand had canvasd his whole upper torso when he felt it dip lower. He remembered his breath hitching as the other mans fingers played with the elastic of his boxer briefs, his back against Cas he felt him press sinfully close to him, slotting himself against him. Dean had jerked away before Cas had been able to peel away the last layer, his heart thudding in his chest. Once again, he had freaked and his subconscious completely shut down any more action that night.

Castiel must have seen the unease on Dean's face because he softened his features, his eyes wide as he once again draped himself over Dean Winchester's body.

"Cas..."

"Just try to calm yourself," Cas whispered, "We can stop if you wish."

"I don't want to stop," Dean admitted, looking down at the bed spread beneath him.

He felt fingers at his chin, forcing him to look up at the blue eyed man straddling him. There eyes met just for a moment before Castiel pressed their lips together once more, using the opportunity to slip the boxers down to his knees with one hand.  
Dean's eyes widened as he surged into the kiss, he'd never tell him but he was impressed. The angel caught on fast.

The hunter tried to keep his mind focused on the task at hand; namely getting Cas's state of undress to match his own. Dean allowed his hands to trail down Castiel's ribs, finding hipbones and gripping them tightly, forcing them off of his own body despite craving the friction. He pulled them off lithely, it wasn't much different from undressing a woman but as Cas lowered himself back down to Dean, everything felt different. He heard himself exhale loudly as their bodies met, Castiel's lines of his body matching his own. He wasn't soft or petite, but muscular and lean. He was hard, rage and fire and fuck, he was his.

Dean paused as he felt Castiel hesitate, his fingers splayed on his inner thigh.

"What do you want Dean?" He asked genuinely; there was no teasing, just pure intentions to do this right and Dean could see that right away.

"Just you feathers," he replied almost breathlessly. As he repeated it in his head he kept thinking how stupid that sounded, and almost opened his mouth again but thankfully Cas covered his recovery with his lips and silenced any insecurities.

The hunter was thankful for the distraction as Cas's fingers slowly made their way from his thigh to in between his legs, feeling him there. Dean was nervous as Cas readied him, wincing every so often and moaning as Cas kissed away the uncomfortable sensation, soft and gentle. All the times he had imagined this, he never imaged how doting Cas would be.

"Are you alright?" He whispered softly, pressing against him again, opening him.

"Yea," Dean ground out, biting back the moans that longed to escape from his mouth.

"Are you ready?"

A beat. Silence.

This was it. Dean couldn't find the words so he just nodded, concentrating on the ceiling as Cas grabbed the necessary equipment from the bedside table. Dean gripped the sheets tightly, forcing himself to breath slowly and evenly.

It was when Cas ran his free hand down his face, cupping his cheek gently and kissing him deeply did he relax. Dean's breath hitched and he scrambled for purchase, his nails finding Cas's back as he slowly pushed in.

"Fuck..." he moaned, his head thrown back against the pillow, his eyes tightly shut.

The fallen angel went still immediately, rubbing small circles in his hip with his thumbs, waiting for Dean to nod to go forward.

Dean kept his eyes shut, feeling completely too exposed and open; no one night stand could compare to this.

"Dean look at me please," pleaded Castiel from above him. When Dean finally opened his eyes he found Cas looking at him completely lovingly, his pupils blown and his breath coming in short pants as he struggled to maintain his position.

"Move feathers," Dean smiled, pushing his insecurities to the far corner of his mind. He'd deal with them later.

Castiel grinned and snapped his hips slowly into the hunter, careful not to ruin the moment or accidentally break Dean's trust. And Dean could feel it, the way his muscles trembled as he controlled his thrusts and the way his jaw clenched and his eyes rolled back each time. Dean was captivated; he was unwinding the angel that once swore off intimate relations because of the hassle, the man who could barely give a hug was now trembling above him in ecstasy.

It didn't take long, the marathon of meaningful looks and shaking limbs brought them both to completion, both breathing hard as sweat rolled off their bodies.

Dean winced as Cas slowly rolled off him and to the side of him, his hand never leaving contact with Dean's skin.

"So, how does it feel not to be a virgin anymore?" Dean asked breathlessly, looking over at the man beside him who was still struggling to compose himself. And Dean didn't care how lame it sounded but he mapped Cas's face in his mind so he would always remember the way his dark hair was plastered to his face, and the satiated, drugged grin that had cracked the otherwise impassive face.

Castiel chuckled, his laugh moving the bed. "I don't know Dean, how does it feel?"

The hunter swatted his hip playfully before rolling closer to the man beside him.

"I swear to shit if you say anything about this, I'll deny it," Dean murmured, grabbing the blankets from the end of the bed.

Cas looked up, hurt. Until he realized Dean was pulling the covers over both of them and allowing his limbs to tangle with fallen angels. Dean carefully grabbed Cas and pulled him towards him, Castiel's forehead resting comfortably on the middle of his chest and his fingers intertwined with Deans.

"I don't want you to go hunting yet because I don't want you to get hurt," Dean let himself whisper into Cas's ear, comfortable enough since Castiel pressed to his chest. "I can't lose you. I need you around, ok?"

There was silence between them, Castiel's leg brushing against Dean's as he pulled himself closer to the hunter.

"I need you as well Dean."

SPNSPNSPNSPN

They slept all through the night, wrapped in each other.  
Dean didn't tell him to leave and Cas didn't ask. And for the first time in a long time, they both slept through the night uninterrupted by the nightmares that had always plagued them both. Dean didn't realize it until morning but his gun was even still in the drawer; he usually left his favorite weapon on the bed side table, which was a step up from under his pillow. But he didn't feel like he needed it, and he was alright with that.

Sam didn't say anything when they both appeared at the same time the next morning. He barely lifted his eyes in acknowledgment, but Dean saw him smirk as he turned his attention back to his lap top in front of him.

"So, we going on this hunt or not?" Sam finally asked, allowing them to gather their morning meal before diving right in.

"Good morning to you too sunshine," Dean grumbled, taking a large bite of his toast.

"Yea well unlike some people, I actually got some sleep last night," Sam retorted, his face smug.

Dean didn't answer, just lifted his middle finger in response.

"I believe we should give this one to Garth. I think I would benefit from some training first,' Cas interrupted, stirring his coffee. "I have only been human a few months and have no encountered any real combat yet. It would be wise to start with some sparing as I still have the angel blade in my possession."

Sam rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer, obviously annoyed with their sudden allegiance.

"You just roll right over for him don't you Cas," Sam muttered, not unkindly.

Cas cocked his head and looked at the younger Winchester perplexed.

"No, Dean did."

Sam head whipped up, mouth open wide.

Dean's mug crashed to the floor, "Dude!"

 

-Hope everyone enjoyed!


End file.
